Well a lot has happened since I last wrote about my pregnancy. My life for the past 10 weeks have been not so pleasant and filled with a lot of drama, and then followed by a lot of nothing, except for trying to rest up but not really being able to. I've been feeling all the crazy hormones that come along with pregnancy and as happy as I am to wait until nature takes its course, I got to the point last week where I just wanted to go into labour already. I'm sure most mums can relate with this feeling. These last days sure seem to drag on.
Time has gone slowly for me this whole pregnancy, but particularly these past 2 weeks. For some reason I always expected pregnancy to be easier... or at least that personally I would find it easier. Josh and I are very fortunate to have had a mostly problem free pregnancy, all my checkups have been very straight forward, blood is good, heart rate is good, measurements good. I was even told I have a "text book happy baby". So then why am I in so much pain?
One thing I've learnt is that no pregnancy is the same. Everyone who I've talked to has had a different experience, there are so many things that can happen in pregnancy, so many differences in everyone's journeys. For me, I feel like I have given up so much of who I am to this baby girl, I'm happy to do it but the pain is real. Some days, especially in the last 2 days, I can hardly get myself out of bed. Other days I could climb a mountain if I wanted to. It really does go day by day. For me it's not vivid dreams but vivid nightmares. And I haven't had a lot of cravings, mainly just the same one over and over, and that's chocolate custard. I've got more stretch marks than I can count, swollen ankles and a double-- errr - triple chin.
We moved back interstate and are currently in Queensland until Christmas. This gives us a lot of family support which is so important to us right now. But moving from an upstairs apartment while 35 weeks pregnant, and still working 30ish hours as a waitress was CHALLENGING. Our car broke down in the middle of the city centre in peak hour traffic the very day before we were going to sell it. The carpet cleaner guy threatened to ditch the job because he didn't want to lift his vacuum up the stairs. The real estate told us we couldn't kerbside pick up so we had to find someone to take a load to the dump, Josh had to take Bruiser (our chihuahua) to the airport pickup, and for some reason he wasn't registered to fly, luckily we had receipts to prove it. Somehow we managed to overcome every obstacle and get ourselves to Queensland with the help of our amazing friends and family. Now it was time to rest up, get ready for baby and wait. Except even then we had complications. 
For one thing, after being here a short few days I fell off a hammock smack bang onto the cement which caused babies movements to slow down and my back to ache so much that I physically could not drag myself out of bed even if I tried. I was taken to hospital then transferred to another hospital as they thought my waters might have broken and that I'd be going into premature labour, but by this time my baby was kicking again and it was determined that there was no fluid loss and it was just a false alarm - that was a looong day.
The truth is... it's not easy with the combination of emotional and physical pain. I've been able to push through it, and I've learnt something really important which I suspect will follow us into parenthood:
Life is full of the unexpected, and because of that it's so important that we give ourselves a little extra room for when that happens. If we can be prepared to be unprepared, it will reduce our panic and the pain we go through when obstacles come to test us. That's why I don't really have that much of a birth plan, because I don't want to be disappointed when things don't go perfectly. Rather I'm trusting my doctors and focusing on myself, my relationships with Josh and my family. I want to be mentally prepared for what I can only assume will be the real challenge after pregnancy.
Being a Mum.
Thanks for reading,
xx
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