When I first got to know Josh I thought we had heaps in common. When that initial infatuation wore off I realized... we have nothing in common. Nothing.
Josh has 3 main hobbies. Film and scriptwriting, gymnastics, music. And those three things he pours his heart and soul into. And at times literally blood (talking about gymnastics). Josh has done gymnastics since before he formed memories. He literally doesn't know what it feels like to not be fit. He was taught through that to work hard and it brought him some amazing results. He wins gold at most competitions he goes to. The sport has taken him across Australia and world wide. It's taught him passion and persistence. He studied film at both Tafe and University and uses his spare time to write. He has huge aspirations for where this will take him. And music is his escape, its how he expresses emotions, every time he plays his music I rush into the room because it's such a sweet thing to listen to.
Josh is not an overly emotional person but he is lead a lot by logic. He feels love through physical touch and words of affirmation. He's a man of fewer words but says what he means and means what he says.
And then there is me. I have too many hobbies to name. I like most things and I'm up for pretty much anything. I love adventure and travel. I'm not really good at anything but I will try everything. I don't have any trophies or achievements to show off. I enjoy sports but have never persisted long enough at anything to get good. I have no music talent at all. I am very academic. I am interested by politics and law, mathematics, medicine, history, culture and I could go on but the post will be too long. I have a creative spirit but it's not as structured as Josh's aspirations. It comes out randomly sometimes. I'm interested in fashion, journalism, dance and interior design. I am 5 years deep in a double degree at uni. I don't get assignments in late. I could spend hours at the beach and feel total content.
I am a very emotional person and logic tends to go out the window. I feel love through gifts and quality time. I'm a woman of many words but it comes out as gibberish and blabber at times and sometimes what I mean isn't always portrayed accurately.
I value work, Josh values play. I value people, Josh values relationship. I value justice, Josh values forgiveness. I look for proof, Josh looks for reasoning. I pray for what I need, Josh prays for what he wants. I like theatre, Josh likes movies. I like real life movies, Josh likes animation as well. I like podcasts, Josh likes books. I like playing in the rain, Josh likes snuggling in the blankets.
I could go on and on but the blog will get too long. Here's the point:
We've been married for 2 years now and it took a while to adjust after we got out of our initial "honeymoon phase" because we are both passionate about each other. Because difference is interesting but it gets overrated when there is no common ground. What we learnt was to value the way the other person is. For example, work and play are both important. I admire that he is so in touch with his inner child and he admires that I can work hard for hours without procrastination. He loves my adventurous spirit and I love that he's able to enjoy a good cuddle. We tried each others hobbies but in the end one of us was basically compromising... and that's fine. We still do that sometimes. He'll go out with me and have an adventure, and sometimes I'll stay in bed and watch a movie. Compromise shows that we care. But we found something that works even better for us.
When I go surfing Josh works on photography. When we go to the beach we also get coffee. I swim and he reads. When he writes scripts I envision them. I'll watch a movie to laugh and he'll be taking notes. Do you catch my drift?
The point is that there are ways to work around your differences. It's an amazing thing and it shouldn't be a deal breaker. Can you imagine if it were the other extreme and you were basically the same person? There are days I get bored when he talks about things way over my head but I can bring it down to my level and carry a conversation. We admire each others dreams. And they work hand in hand with each other.
I believe in soul mates and true love. And I truly believe we were destined to find each other. Difference definitely keeps things interesting and it allows us to constantly learn about each other. We do our things but come together at the end of the day and have plenty to talk about. Lets just say... conversation doesn't run dry with us.
We are able to be independent and have time away from each other. We agree on the big issues: religion, politics, children, communication, general life direction etc. and those are important. But if you find yourself with someone where it seems you have no common ground, don't end it because of it. Find ways to work around it. Because love conquers. And it's a beautiful thing when you can love someone for who they are. Embrace them and find the value in them.